January 11, 2013

Guardrails

Posted in Christian Living, Christianity, Marriage, Right and Wrong at 1:34 pm by Lisa Ritchey


English: took this photo using my mobile, in J...

Proverbs 14:16
A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident. 

We must set certain boundaries in various areas of our lives to keep us from “crossing the line”, as it were.  This is for our own protection.  You could call these “guard rails”.

Just like a guard rail on the highway, you can drive on the far side of it, but that very well might lead you to crash and burn.

When we set these guard rails in our lives, we should set them so that if they do get crossed, it will lead to minor discomfort or embarrassment, and not to utter destruction.

Here are some examples of some good guard rails:

  • A married man has no business associating on a social level with any woman other than his wife unless his wife is present also.
    • The same goes for a married woman with anyone other than her husband.
  • A married man has no business being alone in a vehicle with any woman other than his wife.
    • The same goes for a married woman except for her husband.
  • No unmarried woman has any business associating on a social level with a married man unless his wife is present at the time.
    • The same goes for an unmarried man and a married woman unless her husband is present at the time.
  • No unmarried woman has any business being alone in a vehicle with a married man.
    • The same goes for an unmarried man and a married woman.
  • No man should be  giving a married woman compliments on her looks or appearance unless it is her husband.
    • The same goes for a married man.
    • A sincere compliment on an accomplishment is one thing, but flirting is crossing the line.
    • Be ware of others that are “overly friendly” or seem to single one co-worker out, especially if they, you, or both are married.

Some of these things are not necessarily wrong, per se, but can lead to other actions that are.

  • Being overly friendly can, and has, led to affairs.
    • These have led to ruined work relationships, marriages, ministries, jobs, and businesses.
  • If one or both of them are married (to other people) a man giving a woman compliments can, and has, led to her seeking him out to get them.
    • This can, and has, hurt and ruined women’s relationships with their husbands.
    • If he is married, it can also hurt his marriage.
  • If one or both of them are married (to other people) Riding in the car with a person of the opposite gender can, and has, led to rumors and ruined reputations and marriages.

The way to put up guard rails is to discuss these issues with your spouse if you are married.

What would your wife be o.k. with you doing in these situations?  Or women, your husband?

The best thing to do is to ask,

“It is not wrong, but is it wise?” 

Think about the worst thing that could happen.  THen ask:

  • “Should I?”
  • “Does this situation make me uncomfortable?”
  • “What could be the possible impact on my future, job, ministry, marriage, relationships?”

Plan ahead for the possibility that these things may be unavoidable, and what you will do if they occur.

THESE are guard rails: Not lines to never ever be crossed, but wise decisions made in advance to avoid possibly explosive situations.

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